Are You Pastoring A Country Church?
by David Roberts

How do you know if you are pastoring a city church or a country church? Check your backyard.

If you have lots of pipes bringing and taking material from people who send you a bill every month, you’re pastoring a city church. If, however, your backyard contains a water well, septic tank, and a big silver tank full of fuel, you’re pastoring a rural church. There’s a world of difference.

And for those of us who grew up in the city, it’s a world we were not trained for.

Perhaps, somewhere along the seminary journey, someone stopped and told you how to baptize children and pour grape juice into little plastic cups. What they forgot to tell you, however, are the Ten Commandments for pastoring a rural church.

1) Don’t let the big silver tank in the backyard run out of fuel. There’s only one guy in the county that can fill it back up, and he hates to do that when the temperature is below 35 degrees. If he’s not a Baptist, you might have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to get the fuel that heats the parsonage. After just one Texas night of subfreezing temperatures, you’ll find yourself checking that big silver tank regularly every month

.2) Don’t move those tacky boards stacked against the foundation at the back of the church. It doesn’t matter how ugly it makes the place look, they must remain there. They cover a hole to a place where skunks love to raise their families. You don’t have a sermon in your arsenal that will keep the people’s attention if one of those baby skunks get excited and discovers what makes skunks so unique (and you don’t have enough money in your savings to pay for cleaning the carpet to get the smell out).

3) Don’t pour lots of high powered chemicals down the drain. Your drain is not connected to a huge city facility, but rather, it’s connected to a bacteria farm buried in your backyard. Bleaches and cleaners can kill the bacteria stuff that you desperately need to keep things running smoothly. If you share the system with the church building, there’s a universal law that says the church always backs up first, and you don’t notice it until 8:00 Sunday morning.

4) Don’t waste much time on developing a web site. Nobody really cares. Instead, spend some time cleaning out the cobwebs in the corner of the sanctuary. That always impresses the church.

5) Keep the light on in the pump house during the winter. I know that city boys are taught to turn off lights when no one is in the room, however, that bulb hanging over the PVC pipes is there for a reason. There is no telling how many young preachers have stood outside during a blue northerner listening to a deacon wearing greasy coveralls cuss about the fool who let the light burn out. I assure you, spiritual light was not the subject!

6) If you must have a baby, plan on a long drive to the hospital. Child delivery institutions are not normally situated close to churches that have Route Numbers as an address. Discuss the risks with your wife. You might seriously consider taking a class in emergency child birth. At least, carry a blanket in the car.

7) Buy some boots (they should cost approximately twice as much as the suit you wear). Wear them when you preach, visit, and hold funerals. Don’t ever say “I’m not a boot kind of guy. “

8) Don’t wash your car. Only city preachers are expected to have clean cars. Everyone you need to visit lives on a dirt road and a dirty car tells your members that you’ve been out visiting. Let the caliche dust collect on the back until it’s impossible to see the sunset out the back window. A clean car tells your deacons that you’ve got too much time on your hands.

9) Don’t ever suggest that the church finally “finish the tabernacle.” It is finished. It looks exactly like they want it to look. After all, it’s only used once a year, and if that roof was good enough for granddaddy, it’s good enough for you. It doesn’t need painting and the three bare bulbs are more than adequate. Ignore the armadillo holes under the platform, your revival will be over long before they come out.

10) Learn to work with the Methodists. If your community is big enough to have a Baptist church, it’s big enough to have a Methodist church. Thanksgiving services, Christmas programs, revivals, and even Vacation Bible Schools will take on a whole new meaning as you learn to work alongside these brothers and sisters. Never say anything bad about them, for they are all related to a Baptist in your church!

While you work on “keeping the law,” don’t forget to fall in love with the people in the rural church. You will never find a better group of church members gathered in one place, and they love to love their “city boy” preachers.

*Editor’s Note: David Roberts is pastor of First Baptist Church, Dublin. TBC now has a Small/Rural Church Steering Committee chaired by Billy Ray Parmer and Robert Newell. Roberts serves on this committee. We will be publishing two small/rural church newsletters per year starting in the Fall and sponsoring several conferences next year designed to assist small/rural churches.

June 1997